The Honor of Growth

For the past 6 years I’ve sat in the balance of not doing enough and doing entirely too much.

I chose a career that pushed me to the brink of what I thought possible on any given day.

Sleep became at times a luxury that wasn’t often experienced.

Dinner often became the nearest fast food restaurant or sometimes simply a snack and a coke.

It became the place that at times took too much.

Yet simultaneously the place that gave me more than I ever bargained for.

It's changed my perspective on what it means to hold the fragility of hope,.

To understand that love requires strength and gentlenss.

And to know how to provide safety with silence and grace.

I'll never take for granted the diligence and humility required to show up for those in need.

Sitting with broken hearts and tear stained cheeks.

Walking the road of redemption and shedding shame.

My heart has broken 10 times over for the pain held behind the eyes of innocent souls who have seen horrors untold.

I’ve willingly sacrificed for the sake of being their voice, their defender, & their champion.

With hopes of also being their safety in the midst of turmoil.

I’ve sat with students speaking gently words that were anything but, because they needed bold truths and certainty.

I’ve seen the sparkle in the eyes of teenagers who held in their hands the beautiful rays of a bright promise and future.

I held tightly to the ones who risked it all on a vice so evil they never knew they had been captured.

I’ve given it all in the form of missed birthday parties, vacations, & holiday dinners.

I’ve traded memories for the sake of creating a calm and strong place for peace to thrive.

And I would do it all over again without a second thought.

To see the smiles of pride and accomplishment.

To watch the walls fall slowly, inch by inch.

To empower the purpose that was discovered in the most unexpected ways.

I applaud those who I have stood shoulder to shoulder fighting the same fight for days, weeks, months, & even years.

Because we have all been after the same goal.

To be love in the absence of.

To be strength when they couldn't hold up their heads.

To be a voice echoing hope in the darkness they were fighting against.

To scream louder than ever thought possible at their wins and accomplishments.

To the kids who have taken up space in

my heart, thank you for giving me the honor of being a character in your life.

Who knew that the sweetest place on earth was a beautiful place to experience growth.