Have you ever looked around and wondered how you ended up in the middle of a mess?
Retracing all of your steps, making calculations, and double checking your work?
(Because not only are numbers hard, so are the complexities of life....)
Only to realize that your current location is not a result of your bad decisions, but of others?
That the restless nights, the uneasy moments, and the unintentional and unpredictable rhythms of grace have been forced upon you as a way of survival.
Now, I don't know about you but I prefer being in control of every step, breath, and fall that I make.
The setbacks and the letdowns are easier to navigate when you know that you put yourself there.
Growth that exists within the dynamic of our choices are adjustments that are appreciated when we can chart our own path and progress.
The uncomfortable pain that exists within the realm of change due to the choices of others makes the adjustments needed to be made even more challenging.
There is no roadmap for navigating the rough terrain of a path that we have not chosen.
Because, if we are honest, the situations we manage to get ourselves into, of our own accord, we barely know how to get out of on a good day.
Mix in the spice and boldness of being completely unaware of your present location, you have a hap hazardous concoction with too many flavors to taste good.
You may have started reading this thinking, oh, she is going to share something deep and proverbial that will help me learn how to maneuver situations like this...
(Awakwardly glances around the room looking for an adult to help!)
I have no answers for you, but what I can offer you is this:
I am incredibly sorry that you are here, a place that you never dreamed up or desired to be.
I am sorry that you were pulled on a journey that you very clearly thought you walked away from.
I am sorry that you that have found yourself caught in the frustrations of fighting yourself for hopes of some relief.
Sorry that the war that is raging inside the hallows of your heart is being fought so that you can quiet the echoes of stillness created by others.
With hope that through your painstaking moments that the "they" in question would decide to stop fighting against you.
That they would wake up to actually fight for your freedom from the sinking sand that they have left you wading in.
Facing the reality that their eyes being opened may never happen and that is ok.
Because darling, you are strong enough, valued, appreciated, cherished, and loved with the strength of your tribe to stand up and confidently save yourself and walk free.
So, I encourage you to take a deep breath, put on your favorite outfit, turn up the volume of your headphones, drown out the noise and lies that are hoping to defeat you and welcome the freedom that exists in this moment!!
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