Timbs, Twists, & Sierra Mist

As a closeted introvert, socially awkward former homeschooler, and lover of all things concrete with illuminating street lights-last week I went on a grand adventure.

I packed my Timbs’ (purple and turquoise of course), twisted my hair, and journeyed up a mountain.

Now with my typical level of transparency I will be honest and say that I battled with myself internally as to what I was doing.

Even up to the minute of being dropped off at the airport I wondered what this city slicker was doing boarding a plane for a ranch in Denver.

But something in me said “Go”.

So I went.

I got lost in an airport during my layover because, well numbers and letters should never go together.

I fell down an escalator (a vision of pure hilarity), and realized it couldn’t get any worse than that.

For the first time in my life, I was left completely undone and speechless by what transpired.

I found people who saw me, well, let me clarify, everyone sees me because I’m always wearing bright colors.

But... They saw past my cheeky comments, side eye of uncertainty, and reached down to dust off the cobwebs of my soul.

They spoke life into the heart of a woman betrayed and heartbroken by infidelity and divorce.

They spoke to my dwindling hope in humanity and allowed me to see people in a completely different light.

They gave space for me to share, speak, and possibly shed a tear or two.

They laughed at my limited knowledge of all things outside of city life and cheered me on for not falling off a horse.

They yelled at me for being stagnant and choosing not to walk in my gifting and God given purpose!

They apologized for my pain, ailments, and the hurt that I walked through as if they were the inflictors of my torment.

They laughed at my jokes, facial expressions, and watched the transformation in my life.

They reaffirmed in me dreams that I had forgotten and cheered on the dreams yet to be birthed!

They saw the unspoken fear that existed in my heart that was tucked away so deeply that I didn't even know it existed.

Invaded my life in all aspects and left me processing an answer to a question that never in a million years I would have expected.

“Would you accept a liver from a living donor?”

Now at the first utterance of this question, I shrugged and gave my typical response:

“I would feel awful if something happened to my living donor as a result of trying to help me!”

Now in most settings and circles this would have been an acceptable answer.

If I am nothing else, I am a skilled communicator and a seer of movements that the Holy Spirit reveals.

With that combination alone I can maneuver through situations without ever having to reveal anything deep or vulnerable about who I am.

Enter stage right, “Soul Sisters”!

Without the last word being uttered I was hit with:

”Someone’s offering of love is not your responsibility. It is in the hands of God and the responsibility is His alone!”

Shocked, I was literally shocked.

Someone actually refuted the nonsense that I spouted as quickly as a gushing fire hydrant on a hot summer day.

I responded passively with a “True” and considered the topic closed.

Yet, that was just the beginning.

Mere moments later my soul sister Adina announced to the table that she knew someone who has been wanting to provide the gift of life to someone by being a living donor.

A few texts later and she uttered words that left me completely and utterly still;

“My sister said send her the information and we will see if we can make this happen!”

Her sister, a woman who has never met me, who couldn’t pick me out of a crowd.

Several awkward stares, gulps of water, and blank expressions later my table of dreamers, defenders, and encouragers, were filled with a collective level of shock, awe, and happy, giddy feelings.

Yet, I sat there with nothing. No feelings, no emotion, no nothing.

Normally I’m the one who prays people through these moments, who makes bold asks, cries out loud for chains to be broken, and walks through the fire for anyone who needs it!

Yet, here was someone who had sat in my company for a mere 4 days, 96 hours, 5,760 minutes and became to me who I have been for so many others.

She asked bold questions and walked through the murky rubble of my weary and tired soul and saw what only she could see.

Although the significance of the love, so genuine and pure still leaves me speechless and expressionless.

This city kid packed her Timbs, came down a mountain with more than she could have ever asked for: a community!

A community of fighters.

A community of doers.

A community of dreamers.

A community of invaders for the pursuit of excellence.

But, most importantly, a community of people who by simply sitting with me at a table were the Love of God.

So although I’ll be keeping my Timbs, bright colors of joy, and all things that enhance the concrete jungle.

I am bringing the hope, faith, and love of the community formed in the great wide open with me as I continue to dream, breathe, and chase the goodness of God!

As for the answer to the question posed, well I can’t share all of my breakthroughs at once.

But don’t worry, the words have returned, my mind clear, and I’m keeping my eyes wide open to the beauty of love all around me!

Stay tuned for the journey, its just beginning!